Reflecting on Hope

Wow, what a wonderful Christmas! We had a blast! I just love to see my kids faces light up when they open a gift, especially one that they have been hoping for! I am just so blessed and thankful for ALL of God's blessings in my life. One blessing that I get to reflect on every year on Christmas,besides the birth of Christ, is Christmas of 2001. That year I learned so much about my God. His great love, compassion, and how I am able to trust HIM through it all. I learned that I was expecting, who would have been our 4th child, on Thanksgiving day 2001. A few weeks later I was told that my baby was "not developing properly"( that is how the dr. put it). That same week Ronnie totaled our car (not his fault), our dryer broke and Jacob,then 2 yrs, was hospitalized with RSV. Looking back I could only describe my life like a big storm. The storm was my circumstances and I was the ship at sea during it all, being tossed about but never cap sizing. That being ONLY because, though I didn't realize it then, God was the real captain of THIS ship! Over these 4 long weeks God was there guiding my through. He would give me his Word that became would I would hold on to because there was nothing else there to hold to. Two verses would be spoken to me over and over again( PS. 46:10 and Jer.29:11) I had NO idea why until....December 24,2001. I woke up that morning so excited the kids and I had big plans for the day. We were going to be wrapping presents making cookies and getting ready for Ronnie to come home from work so that we could visit family. Around 11 am I started bleeding. (I was almost 10 weeks pregnant) Terrified I went to lay down and called the dr. To say the least just like that all of our plans were over. And so were my dreams for this baby. Ronnie came home, took care of the kids and I laid in bed the rest of the evening hoping I would be saving this child. The next morning I went out to the living room with Ronnie and the kids to open presents but tried to lay low the rest of the day. Later the bleeding would pick up, and I would be told by the dr to come in the next morning.I still remember the conversations I had with God but I will never forget one thing I felt God tell me. " Hang on Rachel, just hold on to me I am doing something here!" Let me tell you I have never held tighter to anything or anyone else in all my life. He was all I had to hold to. He was the only one who could change it or get me through it. Well, He didn't change it,the next morning it was official, but He sure did bring me through it! Now every year as we remember the birth of Christ I also get to remember my baby and be reminded of all God has carried me through and know that God cares for us so deeply in spite of ourselves and no matter what happens around us like his word says in 2 Cor.4:8 we won't be destroyed or abandoned. That year God showed me Hope! Hope carried me. God's Hope! That is why we named that baby Hope. I am not sure what it will actually be like when we get to heaven, but I like to think that I will finally be able to hold that precious baby when I get there.

It's raining..it's sleeting.. oh wait is that SNOW??!!!

Believe it or not it IS!! It was certainly not a blizzard or anything...actually not much of a snowfall at all. But we were sure glad to see it! That morning as Luke and I watched the snow from inside I just held him and said "isn't this awesome" we just had to take a moment and give God thanks for such a WONDERFUL surprise!

Yes, that is a baseball helmet on Caleb's head! You know he belongs to us!!!

Time to breathe

I find myself taking a moment to inhale and then exhale deeply this morning. I was up for the better part of the night with Ben who now thinks that night should be time taken to spend more awake than asleep. Then I heard Ronnie wake up at 5:oo just to realize that he had over slept. ( which he NEVER does) Ben woke up again shortly after that so I decided to go ahead and get up so I could get some things done before the kids wake up. Well one would think that my kids have radar on me that signals once I am up and out of bed because next thing you know they are up and knocking on my door! Now maybe for some it would be nice for your kids to get up and start getting ready earlier than usual, but that is not the case here. The more time my kids have in the morning the more the arguing breaks out! And as if that wasn't enough... my dryer must be going out, since the clothes I had put in to dry LAST NIGHT were still not dry this morning. Yea, that's all I need. My kids to not stop arguing and now the clothes they were wanting to wear are not dry yet! Perfect! What a wonderful day this is shaping up to be!And then, instead of blow drying my hair, I had to blow dry the pants! ( by this point I had to remind myself that I need to give thanks in and for EVERYTHING)Now most of you have probably already heard me complain over the phone about how I have to hand wash my dishes by hand right now, so this is just great news for me! I have been wanting to return to the "simple life", but this is not exactly what I had in mind. I mean, come on, blow drying clothes and washing dishes by hand is not my idea of simple!!! Definetly not for a family of 10 anyway. So now it was time for the bus, the kids start walking out the door I am trailing behind with Eric still in the doorway and I hear Jacob shout "the bus is coming" so now they start to take off running well what would happen next?! Eric slips right on the sidewalk and starts to cry. I immediately have and show compassion for him helping him up and asking if he is ok. but I couldn't help but THINK to myself.. of course this would happen right now, is there any better time than when you have had such a cruddy morning and now you are running late. But he brushed it off and thankfully made it to the bus with the others. I walked back to the house letting out a big sigh and thought.. I need to breathe now! I come inside take a deep breath sit at the computer for my devotional and here is the devotional verse for the day...

1 peter 1:6-7 "You are extremely happy about these things, even though you have to suffer different kinds of trouble for a little while now.The purpose of these troubles is to test your faith as fire tests how genuine gold is. Your faith is more precious than gold, and by passing the test, it gives praise, glory, and honor to God."

The questions I had to ask myself was , Am I passing the test? Just when will I get it? No matter the what it is about the how. How am I going to handle this situation so that I pass the test in the end? Am I going to be found genuine?


I can breathe now!

A new idea

My sister gave me a new "recipe" for these great gift ideas! It only took like 5 min. to make. It was so easy, and comes out very cute. ( at least I think so) Ashley helped me, in fact, she made the leopard print one on her own!!

And in case you were wondering how I even had 5 min. this is what all the kids were doing!

Happy 1st Month, Ben

Believe it or not, Ben is 1 Month old today!!! It feels like he should only be about 2 weeks...maybe! Though he is only 1 month he is still growing up too fast. He will coo as I talk to him, and it seems as though he is listening so intently, hanging on every word I say. Words can not express the joy that Ben has brought to our lives. What a blessing this little guy is.

My little Indian

Luke had a Thanksgiving feast at his pre-school yesterday. It was so cute. Luke did so good up there on the stage, he just kept waving at me ...so sweet. What is really neat for me is, aside from Matt ( since we did not live here when he was that young), all of the other kids have gone through the same program, sang the same songs and wore the same costume. ( that each made at school) I sat and watched Luke on that stage singing and I could not help but think of the years that have past when it was once Ashley, then Jacob, then Isaac & Eric. The last time I was there Luke was barely 2 yrs. old and now it was Luke's turn. Again can I just ask... where does the time go?! Oh, how I know that soon enough I will be there for the last time, I am not sure that when that time comes I will be able to escape there without tears in my eyes!

pics and poses

Isaac & Eric being themselves



Luke doing the "Heisman" pose

Caleb dreaming of "the days"

adjusting well

Ben is 3 1/2 weeks old and is doing well. All the kids have adjusted to having another sibling in the house. But hey, they are use to it, right? :) Even Caleb who I was most concerned about with having to share my attention has been doing GREAT! He just loves his new baby brother. He is so gentle and loves to hold and kiss Ben. With help of course! But when Ben starts to fuss Caleb wants to give him back to me in a big hurry! They are so precious!!!

Blog makeover!!

I am so excited about my blog makeover!!! Thank you sooooo much Kristy! ( who told me where to go to get one) I feel blog empowered! There is still much to learn .... like those signatures and those blinkies! But for now I am going to enjoy this accompishment!

and Ben makes ten

Well we just welcomed our 10th family member. Benjamin Ryan was born Oct.23. He is just BEAUTIFUL!!! The birth went great, one push was all it took. I want to thank my good friend Kristy for taking the pics in the delivery room. I would not have any for keepsakes or to post if it wasn't for her. Not to mention how happy I was that she was able to be with us at such a blessed event in my life. Thanks Kristy! My mom was a great help, she watched all the kiddos while I was in the hospital and did ALOT of housework for me, thanks mom! I am so glad to be back home with our new precious baby! What a miracle this new life is. I am still amazed how you can love someone so much that you just met! Thank you God for loving me so much that you would give me such wonderful blessings.......my 8 kids!!!!

Busy, busy,but time to update!

Wow! What a busy 2 weeks! No, not as busy as I will be in another 2-3 weeks but none the less busy enough for now!! Last week was Jacob's b-day a few days later was Luke's b-day party, the kids have been off of school today and last Friday! Not to mention the trips to the drs and dentist for those check ups and flu shots! All of which needed to be done before I bring home a new baby right at the start of cold and flu season! And of course those sports are still in full swing! Oh, and I had an ultrasound 2 weeks ago and the baby looks real good and healthy and at the time weighed about 5lbs 11 oz!!! I went back to the dr. this week and was 2 cm dilated. But hopefully, just for the sake of me getting a little more things done, I will still have a few more weeks to go! I wonder how many women in thier ninth month say that?! Oh we also had to clean up our yard last week after we got "rolled"! What fun!

Understanding Underwear

Luke likes to go commando often. I mean I have to double check and ask him if he has any underwear on, on a daily basis. I make even more of an effort to ask when we go important places like school, church, etc. The other night AFTER I got him dressed WITH underwear, he went back and took them off. I told him to put them back on and this is what I got. We had the biggest laugh, because he was walking around the house like it was nothing! BOYS!!!!

Matt's Football Day

Well today is the day! Matt is sooo excited. This is his opening day for football. He has been training with this team since May and they finally get to play their first game today. They are playing their school's rival. And that school has never beaten Matt's school ever. (freshman that is) No pressure or anything :) I can't wait to watch him play and like I said in my last post I hope to watch more of the game since there will be 2,yes I said 2, parents tonight!!!
Good Luck, Matt! We will all be there cheering you on!

Are you ready for some football...and soccer

All fall sports started this week! Jake had his first football game of the season, Ashley had her soccer game, Isaac and Eric had soccer also and Matt has his first game this Wednesday! Luke practices soccer with the twins but is not able to play (he is too young)but he likes to dress the part!
Ronnie had to work Saturday so it was ALL me. We had to be at the soccer fieds for 8:15 for Ashley's game. She scored a goal and we were so excited!! Isaac and Eric's game was to follow. As we watched Ashley play, Eric started to become ill with fever and sore throat and said that he would not be able to play his game. Isaac was not happy at all b/c he really wanted to play. But I had to call the dr. and she wanted to swab his throat( apparently Strep is going around) Isaac started to cry, he did not want to miss his first game of the year. So, since we know the coach and his wife pretty well they offered to keep Isaac so I could take Eric to the Dr.

Well ,he did end up having strep. Then we had to rush back to the soccer fields to pick up Isaac. When I got there his coach informed me that he did so good. He scored 5 goals!!! I was so proud of my soccer players! Then it was time to head home for lunch and quick naps before Jake's game. He too did real well. He scored our team's only touchdown! As for Matt he has 2 more days til he plays, and he is so excited and can't wait! Me neither! Ronnie will be there and I MIGHT be able to watch more of the game!!

Isaac and Eric go to Kindergarten

Well yesterday Isaac and Eric started Kindergarten. They were not all the excited about it. And well I had to sike myself up about too. I woke them up and and said" rise and shine little ones on your feet are you ready for school?" They replied with a very basic "ugh no". I told them that they would have lots of fun and that Kindergarten would be a great year cause they will learn how to read. ( they LOVE to learn) They got up, got dressed, ate and brushed their teeth. Then it was time for the bus. As we walked down to the bus stop, a rush of memories over-loaded my mind. Flashbacks from the moment they were born, all of their" firsts", and precious moments from the past 5 years. Where did the time go? When they were toddlers it felt like I was there FOREVER it was some rough times. But it feels like all I did was blink and those moments were gone, just like that. And being that I have other children I know that this is only the beginning and that I will"blink" again and they will be in junior high and then teenagers. I know I have talked about it before, how the times seems to fly by to fast. But it is in this passsage of time you find yourself treasuring those very moments that you thought you never would. You were just in "survival mode" getting through the day and now that it is over for some reason you ALMOST wish you could go back.

So as they got on the bus and I watched them pull away,I started to cry. I knew it was coming. And as much as I had prepared for the moment I could barely stop the tears. I love those boys. I miss them being home with me all day. But time must keep ticking and kids must grow up. I could not wait for them to get home and to hear the report of the day. The first thing Eric says is "Mom you lied to us" I asked" how?" He said" you told us we would learn how to read and we didn't" I just couldn't help but laugh. They had a good day and Isaac said " mom I know how to spell zoo,it's so easy Z-O-O, see I don't need school". Well if only that was all we needed in life, just to know how to spell zoo!!!

Name please

We have had such a difficult time trying to pick a name for this new baby who is due to arrive in about 9 weeks. I fell like we have simply run out of names. Either the name that one of us picks the other doesn't like or we already know someone with that name. I have now come to terms with the fact that I don't care anymore if I already know someone with the name. If Ronnie and I agree then that is all that matters!!! We kinda agreed on Ben but you know a name for your child has to really grab you. And well,though I think it is a cute name, it doesn't grab me. So I thought of Peyton and I REALLY like it ( it grabs me) and Ronnie doesn't dislike it he simply said "that the more I say the name the more he likes it". I had to remind him that it is also a quarterback's name!! So I found myself out of no where saying" Peyton" so he would continue to like it and it would "grab him!" So a possible name is" Peyton Michael" Of course I know what will probably happen what always happens--- once he likes that name I won't. Not on purpose, I guess b/c it is not definite I keep searching and by the time he likes it I have found another name! Ashley also said to us that it is a boy or girl name so even IF the baby turns out to be a girl( she claims that nothing is 100% until the baby is born, ya gotta admire her hope!) we could still name her Peyton and all of my embroidery ( if done) I could still use. What a smart girl I have!!!

Sketti O's & Caleb

Caleb will now only eat if he gets to feed himself. I am having some issues with this, seeing how my chores have now increased a bit! But like any mom, if that is the only way they will eat you just let em do it. No matter what the price you may have to pay. Thankfully the stains came out of this outfit, however next time I give him food with red sauce I will remove the clothes first!

Birthdays and Beginnings

The last week has been crazy! Matt and Ronnie both celebrated birthdays and everyone here is getting ready to begin the school year. Matt is now 14 and all he talks about is next year when he can drive. He continues to make mention of his "dream car". Which is a corvette, by the way! I told him that we all have dreams and that it is ok to do so!!!! He is also getting anxious about starting his freshman year in high school.( I cannot believe I am here ALREADY, where does the time go)Though I am sure he (we) will be fine!
Everyone else is ready for school,too. "2 more days","1 after today" are the words that will echo in my mind today. Even as a mom, I can only describe my own feelings like that of when I was a child towards school." I am nervous, ready for the change , yet NOT ready for all the homework and assignments!" I am praying for a wonderful year ahead. When school starts you can't help but feel like you are turning your kids over to people you don't even know. That is such a hard thing. To leave on the first day of school, after dropping them off. I just want to cry for them. Do they feel abandoned, scared, lonely? All of the sudden, since summer is now over and you are not with them every hour of the day, you have no idea what they may want to tell you b/c you are not there! I know I am thinking way to much into this, and my kids do great in school, but I can't help it! Ok let me say it again I am praying for a wonderful year ahead> I need to focus on the fact that God is STILL with them even when I leave this Friday. And he is EVERY where I can't be with my children. I can hear God telling me,( not audibly) "will you let go, I got this". I need to remember that, though I cannot fathom this, God cares for them more than me and better than me!
Dear Lord,
I thankyou for all of your wonderful blessings. I thankyou for these children that you have entrusted to me. I pray Lord that as school starts this week that you will be with all of us, meeting us where we are, giving us whatever we are lacking. I pray that you will be with my child's teacher and that she is the one chosen by you to suit my child best for this year. Thankyou Lord that you care enough about all these things in our lives that in comparison to your kingdom seem so tedious and worth nothing. Thankyou for all that you are and all you have and will do.
Amen

Day at the Beach

We took the kids to the beach this weekend. It was nice, we haven't been since the summer of Katrina. Things look different there but they have bounced back quickly all things considering. As for Marine Life I guess they have yet to rebuild but from what we saw today there is no need. The kids and Ronnie caught guppies & crabs ( which we did throw back into the water). Then there was a jellyfish and the thing that looked similar to a stingray. I am sure it wasn't b/c when we turned it over it resembled a crab. People were coming over to see all that we attracted and that included the beach patrol! We asked them if they knew what it was, I am still not sure if he was joking when he called it an armadillo crab!

We decided that the water had become somewhat dangerous after the Armadillo Crab and decided to go home. But we did have a lot of fun!